Working in the service industry, there is only one thing that you know on any given day when you go to work: you have no idea what’s going to happen. Could today be the day that you see a lesbian makeout session in the parking lot turn into six cop cars and eight police officers (like what happened to me)? Or is today going to be the day that a dude poops his pants and leaves his underwear in the trashcan? (Also a thing that has happened to a disturbing number of us).
Thankfully, that’s usually not the kind of day that you end up having (although those days make for good drinking stories). Point is, even though you don’t know what you’re going to run across, you do know that someone is going to be something that is deserving of your scorn. Such as:
Tearing apart coasters
I get that it’s a nervous tick, or something they do to keep their hands busy or whatever, but they have to realize the mess that they’re leaving right? I mean, they sit there talking to Bud Light and Jamo guy, slowly rotating and tearing small sections of their coaster off. Like, they know that there is a pile of hamster bedding in front of them every. time. they go drinking, right?
You can tell they know it’s an issue, because they apologize for the mess…but never do anything about it. At least they know they’re doing something stupid and irritating, I guess? Not like those people that seem to like:
Closing their tab after every drink
If they are paying in cash, it’s whatever. I mean, it’s still annoying and it artificially lowers the per person ticket average, but it’s not a huge deal. What is an actual inconvenience, is Coors Light and three Green Teas over here closing out with a card every round. I won’t pretend to understand the logic here. Maybe they thought they were staying for one round? Maybe they expected someone else to pay? Maybe they’re secretly a serial killer and get some sick pleasure off of torturing their victim before mercifully ending the whole experience.
I don’t know, but I do know that every bartender hates it. Regardless of how annoying these people are, they aren’t as bad as the person that comes in, sits their happy ass down, and turns out to be “one of those” that likes:
Asking what’s on tap, then ordering a Bud Light
I don’t understand it. I know that they are looking for something they might like. I know that they don’t know what’s on tap like the regulars do, but how could they not know what kind of beer they like? With these guys its never, “Do you have a red ale,” or, “I’d really like a Hefeweizen, do you have one?”
No. They make you go through the entire list. Even when you pause, waiting to see if they are still alive and listening to you, they just sit there–glassy eyed, waiting for you to go on.
So you do. And what do they pick? The f*cking Bud Light.
But hey, at least there was a (failed) attempt at communication here. Really, it is better than:
Walking in, ignoring the friendly greeting, and placing an order
It’s like they think you’re a robot, right? Maybe they will get it if they see it in writing.
Staff: “Hi, welcome to _____ how are you doing?” *semi-genuine smile*
Customer: *Doesn’t even look you in the eye* “Lagunitas”
Nobody’s life is so bad that they can’t take literally two seconds to say, “I’m alright,” before placing their order. It’s like they don’t understand that there are other people around them. When they skip the obligatory greeting all they are really saying is, “f*ck you, get me a beer.” Now the whole thing is unpleasant for everyone. They get that “f*ck you” thrown back at them, which makes them want to treat the staff like crap, which makes us hate them more, which (ideally) makes them leave and never come back.
All of that, because of a lack of common courtesy. The whole thing is dumb and it happens way too often, just like:
Ignoring open signs
If you think about it, it’s somewhat flattering that someone wants to be in your establishment before the doors open. That’s a sign of customer loyalty or good marketing. A sign that something is going right. All of that gets overshadowed, however, by the fact that there is literally a sign that says, “open.”
What really gets me is that, when the sign fails, people will come to the locked door, pull on it, fail to open the door, then peer inside to see if anyone is there. I don’t know what we are trying to accomplish when we do this, but it is truly pointless. What are we going to do if someone is there? Ask when they open? I say “we” because we’ve all been to that one place that either doesn’t have an open sign or it looks like it could go either way. That being said, we service people also know that restaurants make damn sure people know when they are open and when they are closed.
Most of these situations boil down to a lack of awareness of other people. They could all easily be avoided if people took the time to recognize that they aren’t the only ones in the world. We’re all guilty of that in one way or another, though, so we can’t be too hard on these people. We need to reserve our hate and distrust for things that really matter, like people who order ranch with mozzarella sticks.
I hope you enjoyed this little rant. If you did give it a share I also love comments, so blow that section up!